There's a lot of gray area with regard to how much
embellishment is acceptable on dating profiles. And
it's true that most people will put their best foot
forward.
If you're 5'11" and you want to say you're 6
feet, or if you want to use a photo from when you
were more of a gym rat and less of a couch potato,
you're probably all right as long as the difference
isn't super noticeable.
But consider this: if your real-life stats are
different enough that a girl walks away as soon as
she sees you face-to-face, you've wasted your time
and hers.
Also See: How to Instantly Be More Fuckable
According to Dr. Jessica Carbino, the resident
sociologist for Tinder, 72% of Tinder users wear
muted colors in their profile pictures.
"That's counterintuitive," she says, "if you want to
stand out."
Your over-the-top 70s bowling shirt is probably too
far in the other direction, but don't be afraid to
wear a bright color in your profile pictures.
It'll separate you from the hordes of guys in brown
and black.
Also See: Clothing Hacks to Be More Attractive
The smolder works for Flynn Rider, but you aren't him.
Smiling makes you seem more approachable and less
intimidating.
When you consider that most women looking for hookups
need to be selective for their own safety, you want
to come across as a friendly, nice guy who will
give them a fun night without them ending up on an
episode of Dateline.
So don't glare at the camera like you're taking a
mug shot.
If it's hard for you to give a realistic-looking
smile, try laughing gently as you take the photo.
Or, recruit a friend (or set up a timer and stand) to
take a photo shoot. It's harder to hold up a phony
smile over the length of a couple of minutes, and
your photos will eventually start looking more natural.
Photos where women can't see your face are an instant
left-swipe.
Use natural light, if at all possible. Go outside, or
draw your curtains or blinds to let sunlight into
your house.
If you must use artificial light, play around with
multiple sources. Maybe your overhead bedroom light
doesn't give you the best results, but angling your
desk lamp can improve the situation.
Along the same lines, now that you've gotten enough
light on your face, don't block your face with
accessories like hats or sunglasses.
If you have long hair (or even just a lot of it), make
sure it's pulled off your face, as well as making
sure your facial hair is clean and well-maintained.
Your face is your moneymaker; don't shoot yourself in
the foot by hiding it.
Another automatic turn-off on dating sites? People
whose profile is only pictures.
Are you a porn bot? Are you illiterate? Whatever the
case, women want men who are actually able to say
something.
And while we're at it, if your profile is under 10
words, that barely counts as a profile.
Would you apply to a job with a resume that just said
"I'm chill, hmu if you want to know more"?
The bio is your chance to sell yourself as a catch.
Don't throw it away.
So, based on the last tip, you're trying to come up
with things to say. Does your draft look like this?
"I'm a pretty laidback guy. I like music, the outdoors,
video games, and hanging out with my friends."
Congratulations, you've just written a bio that can
apply to literally ever dude on Tinder.
What are the things that you bring to the table that
no one else does?
Sharing some information about your hobbies, interests,
and goals shows off your human side (remember: the
goal is to assure women that they're not about to
hook up with a serial killer).
As you're talking about yourself, a little bit of
humor at your own expense can work in your advantage.
It shows you're down-to-earth and not afraid to laugh
at yourself.
But too much insulting yourself goes past seeming
humble and starts coming across as if you don't believe
in your own worth.
If you don't think you're worth the time of day, why
should a woman?
It's a cool move to share with your potential partners
whether you drink or smoke (or anything stronger).
Drugs
can be a dealbreaker for some people, and it saves you
time to weed (no pun intended) out anyone who's not
interested in what you're offering.
But if your profile centers around telling potential
partners that you spend your free time getting drunk
or high, you're sending the wrong message.
You're telling them that your life is so boring, even
you can't stand to live in it without mind-altering
substances.
Throw out a casual reference to being "4/20 friendly" or
suggest going out for a beer, and leave it at that.
One of the best ways to make sure that your bio seals
the deal is to ask a question at the end.
Whenever someone makes it to the end of your bio without
calling it quits, they have to make a decision about
whether they want to pursue you or move on to the
next one.
Asking them a question gives them the feeling that
they're already in a conversation. Basically,
it makes the decision for them.
Plus, it opens up the conversation with something more
interesting than "Hey".
Your friends are your go-tos for everything, so why not
feedback on your dating profiles?
They can offer an outside perspective and make sure
that you're coming across as your authentic self.
Make sure you listen carefully to their advice: you
don't have to follow all of it, but take all of it
under serious consideration.
You trust this person's judgment, otherwise they wouldn't
be your friend.
And they genuinely want you to succeed, so help them
help you.
