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Here's How To Fuck Around And Not Get Caught

Here's How To Fuck Around And Not Get Caught

Janelle Moi by Janelle Moi

I'm not here to pass judgment on you for why you want to fuck around on your partner and cheat on them; I'm just here to give you some tips on how not to get caught.

I'll start off by saying that being a successful cheater is not something everyone can do. People are stupid and let themselves get caught in the simplest ways (hello Snapchat), so it takes a careful, thoughtful person to get away with cheating and fucking around. Too often, people get caught up in the wave of cheating and take on more than they can handle thinking they have it all figured out when suddenly, their getting confronted by their partners in an awkward and painful conversation.

If you want to avoid that conversation, here are five steps you need to take to make sure you never get caught fucking around.

  1. Cover Your Tracks

    The first thing you want to do when it comes to fucking around is to routinely erase all traces, from your end at least, of you communicating with whoever it is you're fucking behind your partner's back. Whether you're using social media, texts, calls, shoot, maybe even e-mails, you want to clean them out every so often. While your partner may not necessarily always be snooping through your phone, and you think they won't ever see it, these things have a tendency to come to light when you least expect it. That's why you want to make sure you're deleting all contact history with whoever it is before your partner somehow gets a hold of your phone.

    Whether you're using Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, social media can be a cheater's worst nightmare. It's the most accessible and most used format for cheating, and with its development, we get new definitions for what is considered cheating on social media, and it's easier to get caught up. So if you're sliding in any DMs or sending any snaps, delete them as often as possible.

  2. Fuck Someone Your BF/GF Doesn't Know

    The worst mistake you could make is fucking one of yourBF/GF's friends, coworkers, or someone they might even have remote contact with on a regular basis, and even irregularly, such as a friend-of-a-friend situation. If they were to ever run into both you and your partner, the awkward conversation that would follow would definitely give away that something is up between the two of you that your partner doesn't know about. Even if you think you can keep it casual and act like you just met, there will always be an indescribable vibe that people get when they're in the same room with their BF/GF and the person they're getting cheated on with that sets off an alarm inside of them.

    Your best bet is to hook up with someone your partner doesn't know at all, and none of their friends know either. It's the only way you won't have to worry about someone finding out and contacting them because they'll have no idea you're even seeing this other person. You might be playing both of them, and they think you've got a relationship with them too (which you shouldn't do), and wind up talking about you to their friends and people they meet.

    What happens when word gets back to your partner that someone else thinks their BF/GF is also theirs?

    When you fuck with someone no one in your circle or your significant other's knows, that doesn't have to happen, if they do brag about you.

  3. Don't Fuck Around With Multiple People At Once

    Juggling multiple side hoes is bad enough when you're single, I could only imagine it gets even more complicated when you're in a relationship. While you might think you'll be able to handle it, I guarantee you won't. In time, your lies will get tangled up, and you'll cause yourself a slip-up that ends up with you getting caught for being a cheater.

    Instead, do yourself a favor and keep it simple. Never have more than two people you're fucking at a time, and if you can, keep it at one. You can rotate as often as you like, but don't make the situation worse by trying to manage multiple fuck buddies. People can get clingy, threaten to tell your partner if they know you have one because they're not getting enough attention from you, among other unnecessary problems. It's better to have one person you could trust to keep a secret that you can always hit up than to balance several of iffy characters.

  4. Don't Hang Out In Your Area Together

    The worst scenario possible for you if you dare to hang out with your fuck buddy, side-piece - whatever, in public is getting a text sent to your phone from your significant other with a photo of you two that someone sent her. Even if you know for sure that your partner or any of their friends don't know the person you're fucking around with, that doesn't mean they won't report any suspicious behavior they see from you, including hanging out intimately with someone other than your partner.

    This is especially true for girls. Their friends, and even other girls who they might not know that well, will generally always look out for them and let them know if their boyfriend or girlfriend is doing anything shady behind their backs. It's just a part of girl code.

  5. Never Cancel Plans With Your BF/GF For The Other Person

    It feels bad enough when your BF/GF cancels on a date you guys had planned, but if you add in another person in the mix and they find out why you canceled, it'll sting even worse, and a scorned BF/GF can be something scary.

    Even if you feel like you'd rather hang with or get a quickie from your fuck buddy instead of being with your significant other, don't do it. If you want your fling to last you'll make plans with them around your standing plans with your S.O.

    They'll start to wonder why you never want to spend time with them anymore, and eventually, they'll begin to draw conclusions that they could probably be right about.