Girl’s Guide to Casual Sex [2019 Edition]
There are two types of people when it comes to sex, and that's those who are okay with casual sex and those who aren't. In today's STD-filled world, there are a lot more complicated reasons why someone wouldn't want to hook up with randoms every weekend other than "I don't do that." But there are ways around contracting an STD from people and enjoying casual sex.
If you're the type of girl that's always stuck to the idea of only having sex with people you're in a committed relationship with, that's great and all, but there's a very human experience you're missing out on. Maybe you've decided to change your ways, or are currently single and need something a little more than your hand or toys, but whatever the reason, you're ready to start having casual sex.
If you don't know where to start, here are a few things you should consider.
Redefine and reassess what sex means to you
We've all been conditioned to believe certain things about sex, and they're not always good things. Sex always has sort of been a taboo subject to talk about, and considered a lewd act for people not in a marriage or in relationships. But a lot has changed over time, and now more than ever, sex is becoming a normal thing to talk about, which is needed for situations like these. Whether you realize it or not, you've been influenced over your entire life to think about sex a certain way, but not everyone has challenged their preconditioned beliefs.
If you find yourself wanting to have casual sex, and want to have sex when you're not in a relationship with anybody, but hold back because of guilt or societal expectations, there's no reason to! The biggest sexual mistake women make is thinking that sex has to be anything but sex!
What sex means to you and to someone else can be entirely different, but that's okay. People who claim they're not into hookups have different reasons for why they don't. But the bottom line is, everyone likes having sex. We enjoy sex so much that it's at the core of every piece of advertisement, media, or news we consume. Think about why you like sex, why you haven't been hooking up, and why you now want to.
Sex doesn't always have to be between two people in a relationship, and it's completely normal to want to have sex with people you barely know. Being single is a time for exploration and getting to know yourself and what you truly need and want, especially when it comes to sex. While you can do this with a partner, you're still only experiencing how one person likes to have sex. Fucking different people can bring out different sides of you, and you can see what's out there and what you don't like when it comes to sex.
There's nothing wrong with hooking up, and as long as you're being true to yourself, you'll see how great it can be.
Know what you want
Every hook up you have you should go into knowing what you want out of it, and even before then, know what you're looking for. One reason people prefer hooking up is because they're single, and want to stay single, but also want to satisfy their needs. Some people think they can't do hookups because they easily get attached to people they have sex with, which mostly has to do with the belief that sex should only be between two people in love, but that doesn't have to be true. If you know that you don't want a relationship at this point in time, then you can have sex without catching feelings.
Similarly, if you know that you just want to fuck this person for one night and never talk to them again, you can make that happen. Sex is all about knowing what you want and taking action.
Only fuck people you actually like
I can't stress this enough. There's no quicker way to get turned off from casual sex than sleeping with people who annoy you, or you wouldn't actually like being friends with or having a conversation with outside of sex. That only works for one-time things, but for casual sex, I find it's often better to have fuck buddies, or people you like that you can fuck without strings attached.
Find someone whose company you actually enjoy and you like as a person, and I guarantee the sex with a friends with benefits be much better. This doesn't mean that you would date this person if given the chance, or that you could potentially have real feelings for them, but they should be someone you don't cringe at every time they open their mouth to speak, or just genuinely disdain.
Fucking dudes who you don't even remotely like, but find super hot and attractive, could be fun and satisfying enough sometimes, but it gets old quick. One thing that is true about sex is that chemistry is essential. If you don't like the dude, then chances are you're going to have pretty lousy sex unless you're drunk or high.
As long as you find people you think are cool and don't mind being in their company, you're all good.
Be safe and stay protected
One thing that not everyone seems to remember when having casual sex with different people is to be safe. The last thing you want is to catch something from someone or have an unwanted pregnancy. Especially if you're in college, you need to make sure you're taking the precautionary measures for safe sex. Almost everyone is hooking up and having sex in college, and more often than not, it's with multiple people. It never hurts to ask someone if they're clean, but I get that that could be awkward or you don't think to ask it at the moment, but you should always use condoms.
I know, I know, condoms suck, but it's the only way to prevent this stuff from happening. I hate to sound like your mom or high school health teacher, but condoms really are important. If you want to take the extra step in protecting yourself, you could always get on birth control. It comes in handy when you like sex with someone enough to go raw, but just make sure they're STD and STI-free.
One thing you should never feel when engaging on your casual sex journey is shame. There's really no rules when it comes to sex, other than consent, and you have every right to enjoy yourself, relationship or not.
You also shouldn't take things so seriously. Casual sex means just that - casual. Don't get too caught up in the specifics or in determining whether or not you or the other person could catch feelings. Just enjoy the sex and go with the flow! Find a fuck buddy and it might make the transition into the casual sex world much easier.
Most likely you'll stop seeing the person sooner or later, or things will simply fade off as you find new people to hook up with, but it's all part of the process. There's no need to read in between the lines or look for deeper meanings because usually, there isn't any.
Be free and have fun, and remember, be safe!