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Steal My 5 Secrets to Get Laid Every Night

Steal My 5 Secrets to Get Laid Every Night

Janelle Moi by Janelle Moi

Getting laid is a feat men often struggle with. I'm not sure if it's a disconnection with reality or just plain anxiety, but something keeps men from exploring the wonderful world of flirtation.

To be honest, it can be scary. You don't become the master of mistresses by succeeding over and over again. It takes skill, patience, and most importantly - guts. If you pair these 5 secrets up with your undying urge to dip your wick, there's nothing you can't accomplish.

  1. Flirting Without Saying a Word

    One of the scariest parts of flirting with a woman is approaching her. Lucky for you, dipping your toes in the water is an option too. If you're eyeing a girl from across the bar, there's a good chance she will notice.

    As long as you aren't wearing a trenchcoat and a 'spank-blanket,' girls might glance back at you every once in a while (mainly depending on how attractive you are). If you get a stare back, that's a good sign. However, if you get about 5 in a row, chances are that she is interested.

    It should go without saying that it's a good idea to always be we dressed appropriately and well groomed. Girls won't want anything to do with you if you're smelly and underdressed - well, not the good ones anyway.

    If things are going well with your curious female of choice, go ahead and send her a drink from across the bar. If you can sort of tell what she's drinking, ask the bartender to send her one more of those. Once she gets the drink she will probably look right over at you, so look alive.

  2. Saying Hello

    The next trick you're going to want to try is talking to her. I know, it's a toughie. But if you've come this far then, you are probably ready to take it to the next level.

    Talking to girls is... difficult, but not impossible. It's really a game of chance in the end. Just like all humans, girls are a delight to converse with - usually. And depending on the responses you get from your comments, you should be able to tell how interested she is.

    Ask her what her name is first. Now, when she tells you her name there is a couple of ways to help you remember it. There's nothing worse than forgetting the name of the girl you're about to fuck and then dealing with the consequences later.

    When she tells you her name, say it to yourself in your head over and over again for a few seconds to really drill it in. If you're bad with names (like I am), try to use her name in a couple of sentences casually. This is a sure-fire way to remember it by association.

    Ask her about her life; where she goes to school (if she does), what she's been up to lately in her life, her favorite places to eat/drink around town - thing like that. However, you don't want to say "What are your favorite places to eat and drink around here?" Say something more like, "Hey, I'm taking my family (or parents) out to dinner tomorrow night. What are some good places around here?"

    This is a pro strategy that not only shows her how much you love your parents, but also that you value her opinion. She might not read it like that right away, but that's OK. Now we move in for the kill.

  3. Keep Talkin'

    Chatting girls up for long periods of time is important. If you chat a girl up for like 10 minutes before you ask her if she wants to get a motel room, odds are she won't be too happy.

    Picking up on hidden signals is everything when you're talking to a girl. Things like body language can give you some indicators too. If you're talking to a girl and she keeps looking away from your eyes to the distance, she might not be interested in what you have to offer in the bedroom.

    If you get a girl that locks eyes with you and even asks you questions back, you won the jackpot. If you get a girl that can not, for the life of her, stop laughing at your dumb jokes - you guessed it. Jackpot.

  4. Ask Her if She Wants to Leave

    After you've thoroughly chatted this girl to pieces, she might start to get a little antsy. If you used that question about good places to eat/drink, you might want to suggest heading to that bar. Or maybe at one point, she brought up a good hooka lounge she likes to go to or whatever she likes to do; that's when you ask.

    If she's down to hit another bar or whatever, you've almost sealed the deal. Keep talking to her at the bar, but try and shift the tone of the conversation. Get a little friendly with her if you can.

    Crack a few jokes, ask her about her personal life, or maybe tell/ask some crazy stories. It doesn't really matter what you guys choose to talk about, because at this point you're both probably so drink and horny, you will want to send it back to someone's house (or another sexy place to hookup) for a little sleepover

    Here's where we get into the nitty-gritty. These secrets I'm about to tell you are highly effective in the bedroom.

  5. Fuck Her

    This is usually the most nerve-racking part of the plan, at least when you're sober.

    Kiss her. You can do it in the bar, in the cab, or even in the bedroom, but at some point, you have to mob it. It's scary, I know. But that feeling you get when you mentally say "fuck it" and go for the kiss, is amazing - especially when she's super into it.

    If she is really feeling herself, she might even attack your junk right there on the barstool, so be prepared for anything. Next up, you'll want to start going down on her. If taking your talents to South Bay isn't your favorite thing then I guess you can skip this part.

    Get her engines firing by going down on her until either orgasm or for about 15 minutes. After you're done is the perfect time to start drilling her. Wear a condom guy. One night stand chlamydia is the single worst thing to deal with on the planet. Be careful.

    When you're all done, and she's still all over you - kissing you, rubbing your body, touching herself - take it to the next level. Go down on her again, and I can promise you that she's going to remember this night for some time to cum! Who knows, maybe you'll get a friends with benefits out of the whole thing.

    Thanks for checking out my secrets and have fun with all your endeavors, hopefully it'll land you a FuckPal or a few along the way!