Here's How to Get a Fuckbuddy Tonight
For those of us who are single and not dating, it's hard to deal with the random horny thoughts and sex flashbacks that penetrate our minds and keep us from staying focused at school, work, and just about anywhere. Sex withdrawal is real, and it's not fun.
Most of the time, you don't have anyone in your contacts that you can hit up to rub out a quick one unless you want to take the risk of hooking up with your ex for the billionth time.
But if you're smart, most of us wouldn't want to take that route. So what do you do now?
You could also watch porn again for who knows what time, but doing that gets old. Instead, you could find a fuckbuddy!
Fuckbuddies are people you can have sex with casually without any attachments or commitments. They're the ones you call on when you want to substitute your hand with a real person and enjoy some sex with no meaning attached to it.
This sounds great, but getting one can sometimes be more challenging than people think it is, and for those of you who aren't even remotely familiar with the concept, it can be even harder to figure out.
But no worries; I'm here to tell you how you can get a fuckbuddy by tonight, easily.
Download Some Dating Apps
I know, I know.
If you're like me, you cringe at the thought of ever joining a dating app seriously, but desperate times call for desperate measures; and there's nothing more desperate than a dating app.
But lucky for you, most people nowadays aren't taking dating apps that seriously. Every time I talk to someone who has a Tinder profile they usually say that they're using it "just for fun" and to "mess around" with. While some girls I know use it to see the hot guys in the area and find out who's into them, others use it to browse through when they're bored, something like social media. Guys also use the app, to no surprise, to hook up with girls and also check out who's in the area.
But for the most part, there's not an overwhelming amount of people looking for relationships or to get married as you might think on dating apps.
That's why you might've heard people blaming Tinder for today's hookup culture, because of the fact that people are more interested in casual sex than serious relationships. These apps also make it easy to spot who's looking to fuck and who are looking for something more, because people try not to waste each other's time.
The assumption of sex on these apps make it easier to find people in your area who want the same thing as you, and it's also a pretty good time to browse through it and check out who's hot near you that you might've never seen before.
Build Your Profile
The next thing you're gonna want to do after downloading whatever dating or hookup app of your choice, is to create your profile. Not to scare you or anything, but this is the most crucial step since online dating is so superficial, your profile is all that matters.
It's what people judge you by and makes your first impression for you before even meeting someone. People can choose right then and there when your profile appears if they want to fuck you or not, and can swipe right to hit you up, or swipe left to move your profile to the trash, never to be seen again.
Now that you've got the idea, here are some tips to keep in mind when making your online dating profile.
Never leave a blank bio, unless you know you're hot as fuck and your face can do all the talking for you. As conceited as that sounds, it's true; if you're conventionally attractive, then you really don't have to do all that much work when it comes to finding someone to hook up with. But if you're not (or at least think you aren't you beautiful person, you), then you're just going to have to do a bit more work. Make sure you say something, anything. It could be a joke, a short sentence to describe yourself or what you're looking for, but anything is better than nothing.
Also, please don't be predictable and post a photo of yourself with a dog, especially if it's not even yours. Yes, dogs are cute. Everyone loves dogs.
But people are trying to fuck you and not a dog.
Lastly, be authentic. Don't try to come up with a whole new persona just to get laid because people will be upset when you're not what you made yourself out to be online. Be yourself and show interest in others while making it clear what you're looking for, and it'll go just fine.
Now, time for the second most crucial step to landing a fuckbuddy online. When you first message somebody, you want to give them something they can reply to, even if you don't know what you want to say yet to insinuate sex. But the LAST thing you want to do in a first message is to straight up ask for sex. That won't get you anywhere, in fact, saying anything sex-related at all on the first message is prohibited. You might think "Well, why can't I just be straight up?" and you're right, you should be - just not quite yet.
If the first thing you say to a girl is "Down to fuck?" or anything else as stupid as that, they're gonna curve you so hard. No one wants that to be the first message they receive from someone, and girls have enough creeps in real life to worry about.
You should be friendly and casual when messaging somebody for the first time, and even just saying "Hello" is better than anything else.
Slide in the DMs
Another online hookup option where you don't have to make a dating profile is using your social media ones. If you think about it, Twitter and Instagram serve as something like a dating app for most people.
We follow people we think are attractive and interesting, and if they think the same about us, they'll follow back. While that's not always true, it's still a pretty big truth to how we use social media.
So if there's someone you've been following for a minute on Twitter whose tweets you always 'like' and think they're super hot, or follow someone on Instagram who you've been dying to get into their pants, slide in their DMS! It's pretty nerve-wracking, I know, but you never know what could come out of it if you take the chance. The worst thing they can do is leave you on read (or delivered) and ignore your message, so you don't have anything important to lose.
On the other hand, though, they could DM you back and be open to hooking up in time. Just remember, as I've said, never to send anything sexual on the first message.
Heart eye emojis are cool, but never send just the 'eyes' emoji, if you know what I mean. But the point is, come up with something more clever than just telling them how hot they are.
Or Go Out and Meet People
The only other way to meet people offline is in real life. If you're good with people and are extremely outgoing, this should be no problem for you, and would probably work out better than dating apps since you can actually show off your personality.
So if that's you, I'd suggest you get out there and start chatting people up, and that should be super easy for you.
But, this article is more for the 95% of humanity who'd prefer to meet someone online and avoid human interaction, so I'll keep this section short.
Go In For the Kill
Now, the idea here is you've conversed with the person a couple of times and maybe have even hung out with them already. But you want to bring up sex when the time is right, or when you've been feeling enough of the sexual tension to finally break it.
This is definitely the most thrilling part, and once again, could make or break your chances of getting a fuckbuddy. Make sure you read the situation well and process all the cues they have, or haven't, been giving you, so you don't end up aking a fool of yourself. But chances are, if they've continued to talk to you for a few days, then they're most likely interested in meeting up. If you've expressed in your profile that you're only looking for something casual, most people know what that means, but if you haven't, you should definitely let them know beforehand.
Once you make it clear what you want to do, its time to fuck! Enjoying the results of your efforts in trying to get a fuckbuddy will be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life.